Vulpo One

Am I completely lost to society?



require 'date'

puts "Enter your birthdate (YYYY-MM-DD):"
birth = Date.parse(gets, true)
today =
age   = today-birth # in days

min_age = (2 * (age - 7 * 365.25)).round
max_age = (age/2 + 7 * 365.25).round

min_birth = - min_age
max_birth = - max_age

puts "Your age pool is #{min_birth.to_s} - #{max_birth.to_s}"

puts "You're too young ^__^" if min_birth > max_birth


Ode to Joy

Ludwig van Beethoven / Friedrich Schiller - Ode an die Freude

Freude, schöner Götterfunken,
Tochter aus Elysium!
Wir betreten feuertrunken,
Himmlische, Dein Heiligtum.
Deine Zauber binden wieder,
Was die Mode streng geteilt,
Alle Menschen werden Brüder,
Wo Dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

Wem der große Wurf gelungen,
Eines Freundes Freund zu sein,
Wer ein holdes Weib errungen,
Mische seinen Jubel ein!
Ja, wer auch nur eine Seele
Sein nennt auf dem Erdenrund!
Und wer’s nie gekonnt, der stehle
Weinend sich aus diesem Bund!

// Best thing I’ve heard ever.


Linus Torvalds

Linus Torvalds once found a segmentation fault in the universe.
Linus Torvalds can run kill -9 and kill Chuck Norris.
Linus Torvalds doesn’t die, he simply returns zero.
Linus Torvalds first written program had artificial intelligence.
Linus can divide by zero.
Linus Torvalds runs Linux on his wristwatch and toster.
Linus Torvalds doesn’t receive error messages.
There is no theory of probability, just a list of events that Linus Torvalds allows to occur.
Linus Torvalds does not sleep. He hacks.
Linus surfs the web using nothing but netcat.
Linus Torvalds can play 3D games in his head by interpreting the source code in real-time.
Linus made the red pill.
Linus Torvalds didn’t learn from the University of Helsinki, the University of Helsinki learned from Linus Torvalds.
Linus Torvalds once developed a programming language so good that it makes python look like punch cards.
Linus Torvalds doesn’t need to boot.
Linus is real, unless declared Integer.
Linus doesn’t push the flush toilet button. He simply says “make clean”.
Linus Torvalds has no dependencies.
Linus Torvalds takes one look at your desktop and knows which porn sites you visited. In the last ten years.
Linus Torvalds sleeps with nunchucks.
Linus can enrich himself simply by chowning your bank account. He does not do this because there is no challenge in it.
There are no man pages for Linus Torvalds, only god pages.
Linus Torvalds can do an infinite loop in five seconds… in his head.
Linus Torvalds doesn’t wear glasses anymore not because he had laser eye surgery, but because he finally got his xorg.conf properly configured in his head.
Linus Torvalds can use a nice level lower than -20.
Linus Torvalds doesn’t need to mount his drives.
Linus Torvalds doesn’t debug. His programs are always perfect.
Linus Torvalds can install Linux on a dead badger.
Linus Torvalds doesn’t need backups. He just uploads his files and lets the world mirror them.
Linus Torvalds is taking over the world. Microsoft is just a diversion so that no one would suspect a mild mannered Finnish programmer.
Linus Torvalds already has Linux 3.0. He is just keeping it to himself to build suspense.
Linus Torvalds didn’t design Linux to run on the 386. Intel designed the 386 to run Linux.
People pray to Jesus, but Jesus prays to Linus Torvalds.
Linus need not worry about Microsoft patent crap, he simply do `sudo mv /tmp/ms /dev/null`.
Linus Torvalds is more powerful than root.
If you could read Linus Torvald’s mind, you’d find that his stream of conciousness is entirely in binary.
Linus scared A and B away, so they had to make C.
Linus only has 2 buttons on his keyboard ‘1’ and ‘0’
Linus’s kernel never panics.
Linus does not use the GCC, he _writes_ binaries.

Taken from



When I find myself in times of trouble,
Douglas Adams comes in view
Speaking words of wisdom: “Forty-two.”
And in my hour of darkness,
He is the light that shines on through
Speaking words of wisdom: “Forty-two.”
Forty-two, forty-two, forty-two, forty-two.
Whisper words of wisdom: forty-two.
What are the broken-hearted people
Living in the world to do?
There will be an answer: Forty-two.
For though they may be parted,
There is still a chance to see what’s true.
There will be an answer: forty-two.
Forty-two, forty-two, forty-two, forty-two.
There will be an answer: forty-two.

Source unknown